Actively Caring for People in Schools by Geller E. Scott;Kipper Bobby;

Author:Geller, E. Scott;Kipper, Bobby; [E. Scott Geller]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
Published: 2017-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

Ask Questions First

Suppose the conversation is not about a serious issue like personal distress, frustration, or apathy, but simply about a less-than-desired behavior. You see an opportunity for a person to show more or better AC4P behavior in a particular circumstance. What do you say?

Don’t direct the person what to do. Get the individual to tell you, in his or her own words, what s/he could have done to be more effective from an AC4P mindset. Ask questions with a sincere and empathic demeanor. Avoid at all costs a sarcastic or demeaning tone.

First, point out certain desirable behaviors you noticed—it’s important to start with positives. Then move on to the less desirable behavior. Ask, “Could you have been more effective in that situation?” Of course you hope for more than a “yes” or “no” response to your question. If that’s all you get, you need more precise follow-up questioning.

You might point out a particular situation where the behavior you observed could have been more effective. Ask what that behavior should be. We’re talking here about giving corrective feedback, as we addressed in the prior lesson. Now you realize the value in starting corrective feedback with questions.

You always learn something by asking questions. If nothing else you’ll hear the rationale behind the undesired or sub-optimal behavior. You might uncover a barrier to optimal behavior which you can help the person overcome. A conversation that entertains ways to remove obstacles that hinder desired behavior is especially valuable if possibilities become feasible as relevant action plans.

Patience is obviously required for empathic listening, diagnosing, and action planning. Conversations at this level are often lengthy and not efficient, but they are always most effective. Take the time to question and listen to learn first what it’s like to be in the other person’s shoes. Your objective then shifts to develop a corrective approach fit for the circumstances as mutually understood by everyone in the conversation. If a commitment to follow through with a specific action plan is reached, you were an AC4P behavioral coach.

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